Parents deeply love their children and want them to grow and develop full and happy. However, many times their behaviors or attitudes in their daily life inadvertently damage the self-esteem of their children.
Self-esteem is what a person says about himself and is linked to feeling loved, accompanied and to be important to others and to himself. It is one of the components of effective life that have a greater impact on the quality of life of people and their health.
If a child has a negative self-esteem, it will hamper his development as it generates the feeling of incompetence, of being invaluable and therefore, unloving.
The first years of life are fundamental to forming a healthy self-esteem and the image that the parents transmit to their children is crucial for the same. Some common mistakes parent commits which often makes them annoying and also undermine the personal evaluation of their child are:
- To demand in an unrealistic expectation according to the capacities and age of the child.
It is clear that parents want to develop the child’s potential to the fullest, but they are putting a very strong pressure on the child, which probably goes beyond what he or she can do at the moment. This leads him/her to feel that he or she can never meet his/her parents’ expectations. So being a parent you must learn to raise realistic demands and expectations and not to over-impose them.
- Intolerance of errors and mistakes.
Parents punish their child for committing small mistakes which often makes the child insecure. You must teach them that wrong is natural and does not mean failure, and mistakes can be a source of learning as this behavior will stop you from being extra annoying. But do not make a habit of accepting all the behaviors.
- Lack of evaluation of achievements.
Every child needs to be appreciated for the little efforts made in the daily life. Try more to value good actions, from small details like “you made the bed very well” or “you did very well in the test, we are proud of you”. These little statements will make a big change.
- Constant comparisons.
Parents are constantly saying “You see how good your brother is.” “Why are you more like your cousin?” “I bet your friend got better than you.” Constant comparisons cause your child to develop feelings of inferiority. You must focus on the child’s progress and make him aware of their own achievements, regardless of what the children around them are capable of doing.
We must understand that each child has their own rhythm and their own profile of skills and competencies, so comparing it with others does not help at all.