The birth of a child imposes enormous responsibility on his parents – it depends on them how the person will grow, what qualities he will have, how he will communicate with other people, cope with his problems, etc.
Father and mother do everything they can for their child, but as soon as they hear the disapproval of the teacher, neighbor, grandparents, they immediately question their parent competence, which is expressed in the form of an active or suppressed protest.
Meanwhile, you can doubt yourself right from the moment of birth. This is especially true for mothers since it is majorly on them that the whole educational process lies in our country. As soon as the child behaves differently from what others think or expect, those around them disapprovingly shake their heads and start being judgemental.
Often, based on the opinions of others, parents form new rules of what is good and what is bad. Worst of all, that under them they try to subordinate every act of their child. As a result, he tries to do everything in order not to disappoint mom and dad, but his actions are far from what he really wanted. Of these children usually grow up either rebel who, as soon as a suitable opportunity comes, begin to go “against the trend” unable to go beyond the established in the childhood framework. Such people, getting into a non-standard situation, cannot cope with circumstances alone – there is no suitable set of rules, there is not exactly setting how to act.
Roughly speaking, what society considers compulsory for execution can make a child outwardly an ideal person, but as a whole useless and helpless. Yes, you will feel like an ideal mom (or the best dad), because the kid diligently behaves, does lessons, does not lose their calm at changes and does not go out with friends in the evenings. And how will the child feel himself? With whom should he share his experiences? How can he tell you that his interests do not coincide with yours?
Think about the children, consult with them: talk more with each other and in everything show an example of how you should behave, how to communicate, how to work, etc. But the opinion of others, as someone has successfully noted, is the thoughts of those whom no one asks.
In pursuit of the reputation of a “good parent” and in trying to get your children to be “right” and to behave exceptionally “well,” you risk leaving your crumb alone with your problems and depriving him of the right to show personal qualities – they will be hidden behind the mask of the “best worker”. As a result – a sense of loneliness and a bitter resentment will capture their mind forever.
Do not treat them on the basis of the standards set by others.